Lessons from the Six

Just this past weekend, 10-12 November 2017, I was in Toronto to attend the History of Science Society’s annual conference. Having recently connected with my cousin, Nicole, she graciously invited me to stay with her. This was wonderful news to me, for Toronto is terribly expensive for an eager graduate student. Arriving in Toronto at 05:30 on Friday morning, Nicole, who had a key made for me, told me that I would find it hidden in her doorway. After getting to her place, I got ready, and leaving about an hour later, I was off to the conference. 

Now, for all of you who have attended an academic conference, you know what to expect when attending. However, for those of you who have not been to one, let me provide some details as to how they function. Usually full, multi-day events, a conference is a meeting place where scholars come to exchange ideas. Scholars will present their work, and the audience (other scholars) will listen, and possibly question or comment. Aside from the free and democratic method of sharing and challenging ideas, they are also networking events. For the young academic, they are essential to establishing a reputation. 

I left the conference just after 21:00, and headed off to meet Nicole at the St. Claire W. tube station. It was wonderful seeing her again, and just as I expected, we instantly were in-sync. Our objective was to go and see “Jigsaw”, the latest instalment in the “Saw” franchise. However, the TTC was delayed, so we missed the timing. 

After an adventure to find a bathroom and the return trip back to Nicole’s place, we ended up getting a little intoxicated and watching “Finding Forrester” after she recommended it, telling me I would like it very much. Oh, I sure did! I won’t get into the fine details of the film here, but if you’ve seen it, you understand why it is wonderful. #YTMND

A testament to Nicole’s character, even though we went to bed quite late, up she got, and off she went to work. After being up for around thirty-four hours, I took the opportunity to sleep-in. I got ready later in the afternoon, and not long after Nicole returned. 

It was at 20:30 that we ran to the LCBO, where we picked up some supplies for the evening. Some wine, vodka, and for myself, Disaronno. We were supplied, now we just needed the invite. 

About to lose hope, at 21:15 the text came, so off we went. One of the reasons why I love Toronto is that because it is a city, getting around is very easy. But because of its size, everything is divided into manageable communities. So our commute to Nicole’s friends was only a fifteen minute walk. 

When we arrived, the gathering was already underway, and the people feeling good. It wasn’t a large gathering, just six of us, but that’s how I like it. What was fascinating to me though, was the friendliness and kindness that our hosts showed us, especially toward me as a relative outsider. 

For those of you who know me, my brain doesn’t turn off when I am with people and drinking. I ask questions, I push, and I challenge. It’s practice now to warn the group before I start drinking. But again, everyone was so supportive and receptive. 

And this is what strikes me: in the great cities, what allows one to be happy and feel positive, is not material wealth, and not the love of one partner, but the love of many, the love of that which is different from your own daily experiences. By opening yourself up to the other, by showing love rather than distance, you can make all the difference between someone’s, or your own, day being good, versus it being poor. It’s easy to feel small and lost in the city, but if you can see people not as the other, but as your neighbour, you feel a little safer, a little warmer. 

What are we but a memory for others to recall? Make it a good one.